I’m a Taurus

I am definitely a Taurus! This was an interesting read and beautifully expressed.

Mein Herz Brennt

Well, since my birthday is coming up on 28th I thought about writing about astrological signs and how they are interpreted. By astrology I’m a Taurus and here’s some information about a Taurus woman:

The Taurus woman is feminine, soft and highly diplomatic. She has a lyrical speaking voice that soothes and comforts you, and she could even have a talented singing voice (Barbara Streisand is a Taurus). Ruled by Venus, Taurus is a sign which adores the arts–from music to painting–and will enthusiastically go to any cultural event her lover suggests. Outwardly, the Taurus woman may appear relaxed and inactive, then all of a sudden she can shudder and a great eruption takes place. The normal somewhat placid and caring nature of the Taurus girl should never be taken for granted. While she is in every way, a very loyal and resolute individual, she should never be deceived or…

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The journey of my faith

I have a wonderful relationship with God. It was strong until my late teens and then it disappeared for a while in my very early twenties. Recently, however, I have renewed my faith and my spirit. I started going to church and became apart of a church family. It was one of the best decisions I have ever made. Do I agree with all of my religious doctrine? Do we all share the same political views? No, but that is what makes it so wonderful. I am enlightened to different perspectives and view points while I am learning about Jesus Christ and accepting him as my savior. I was Baptized this year and it was a life changing experience. My mother and I did it together a form of bonding, with ourselves and with our church. I am pretty liberal for some taste, but I’m too conservative in other aspects to truly consider myself a liberal. I am somewhere in the middle and lean towards independent thinking. I am going to vote and advocate for which party I feel is meeting my interest and expectations of political leadership.

Back to my faith – I went to a very dark place in the middle of an on again and off again relationship. It took me awhile to rediscover my self worth and push myself to get the heck out of dodge! My faith helped me leave an unhealthy relationship that had been on going for four years. I felt lost, guilty, ashamed, and afraid of the future. Slowly, I started reading the bible and actually enjoying getting up early to go church. I’m not saying to have faith you MUST attend church. In all honesty, I don’t care what your religion is as long as you believe in something. It is not my place to judge or make comments about your personal choices; as long as you treat me with respect I will respect you. It helps if you like dogs. I’m just kidding, well not really. I am a huge animal lover.

My faith is tied to my Christianity. I am Christian and proud of it. I accept Jesus Christ as my savior and I believe he truly died for my sins. I will never measure up to Him. But that’s okay. I just want to leave my little piece of the world in a better place than I found it. I want to have an impact, as naive as that sounds, I truly mean it. I love people. I love getting into their faith and beliefs and seeing what makes them as a person. As I read the bible, I get more and more into the parables and how they still apply to life today. It has changed much theoretically, we still have very human issues and problems. The next time you are down, remember that something out there is looking after you. It will be okay. Through faith, hope, and charity anything is possible.


Is it in the eye of the beholder?
Is there a “code” that most of us go by for a person being BEAUTIFUL (HANDSOME)? Do you have to be model thin and have the perfect hair and physical features to be considered desirable? Must you have a rock hard abs and a lean toned muscular body? Is it what their soul has, how they treat others, or just the outside appearance? Is it their attitude, personality or how good they look in a bikini or swimming trunks? Do their eyes capture you or their body? What’s the first thing you look at when you see a person? Most people will say that it’s the eyes that catch them; but is it always true?

What makes you notice the person to look close enough to see their eyes? Is it their laugh, smile, figure, shape, or coloring? Have you ever thought how you define beauty? Or how it affects the people that you choose to be in a relations with? A lot of the time we judge a book by its cover. Most of the time the books that look the most interesting on the cover are the ones that are the most boring after you get in them, read what they say, and their meaning. You will hear people tell that you’re beautiful (handsome) but do they mean it? Are they telling you what you want to hear? Or speaking the truth?

Everyone in their own way is beautiful (handsome) each of us has something to add to the world. One person can affect so many others that without that person the world would not be the same. If you sit there and think about it.. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. You can have 10 people look at a person and they will each see different things that are in fact true to them. I think that society today has a great impact on people, especially, younger people that want to be accepted and thought of as “popular”. They look, talk, or act a certain way to make themselves fit in with the crowd. In my opinion, all that the media does is have a negative effect on people.

When it comes to who’s aesthetically pleasing to look at and others who are less than symmetrical. I think of all the young people that have disorders because they are striving for what society promotes as normal and it saddens my heart. Most people associate things like this with just girls but it has just the same effect on boys that it does on girls. Everyone’s self confidence is shifted, changed, lowered, or raised by what people say to them or about them. Granted, some people are comfortable with themselves that no matter what others say they will always hold themselves high and know that they are beautiful/handsome. But not everyone is secure enough to “roll with the punches”.

I’m here to tell you that, in fact, you are BEAUTIFUL just the way you are and you don’t need to worry about that five pounds you want to lose. Choose to see the light in others and it will shine so brightly back at you that other people will see your light too! It’s contagious and people worth having around will see it.
Be you. Be yourself. Be beautiful!

The dark side of illness.

The dark side of illness is inevitable. Yesterday, I spent a few hours in urgent care and received my second steroid shot in two weeks. Today, I am slowly improving and battling my upper respiratory infection more effectively. The shot, antibiotics, and cough medicine seem to be doing their job. However, Steroid shots are not nice to me; I always end up feeling emotional and cranky. They are a necessary evil. To top it off the weather is stormy and my FMS is flaring. I guess I’ll have to recount my spoons!
I feel miserable. I feel weak, emotional, cranky, and hungry. This is not working well on my diet and I’m just counting my blessings that I’m too dizzy to get out of bed alone that way I can’t eat everything in sight.
I am always the upbeat, motivated, get things done kind of woman. I hate feeling invalid or weak. Today I am hit with the reality that I have my weaknesses just like everyone else. My body is a weakness. It limits me. I feel like my head night explore and at this moment – I would probably let it. Just kidding, no really, I’m all for it.
I guess in about five minutes I’ll bounce out of the pity party and into the slumber party. But I give myself five whole minutes to feel miserable be sad about it. I’m mourning the canceled plans, feeling guilt for not being able to be there at the vet today with my furbaby (she had a procedure done), and just general nonchalant about being this sick during the last two weeks of my summer break.
So if anyone else is in a similar boat, hold your down only long enough to pray and put your crown back on! This too shall pass and something good will follow it. Attitude is everything and I always have an abundant supply if you need to borrow some!!
My five minutes is over and I’m done whining for the day. Now, to move on to more pleasant thoughts.

Don’t Fall In Love With A Girl Who Reads

I love this post. It is so true!

Thought Catalog

I mean every word of this, more strongly than I feel about anything else. Don’t fall in love with a girl who reads. I wouldn’t. 

She will accentuate herself in the essence of Sylvia Plath, hiding it in the layers of her skin. Her body will have scars that Shakespearean tragedies can only rave about. Her fantasies will be grander than the life spent at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Her solace will be in the nights that she spends wrapped up in the arms of Murukami and Bukowski. She will try to search between your lips for words that only Fitzgerald would say, only to be erased later. She will hope for the aching of Vladimir Nobokov to run in your groins. She will secretly wish that Leo Tolstoy could write her your story, even before it ever began.. Her life will never be as vivid and compelling…

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5 lessons I learned growing up with chronic illness

I have grown up with chronic illness and chronic pain. It has some disadvantages but I firmly believe that I am lucky to have the extra character builders. I try to live life wholly and humorously. Here’s five lessons I’ve picked up in my short twenty three years:

1) Always wear clean underwear. Preferably cute ones. You never know when you will get sick and end up at urgent care or the Emergency room and have to put on a gown.

2) Timing is everything. Try to plan your most strenuous activities during your most productive time of the day. Eleven to one is my most productive time of the day. Mainly, I think because I prefer to sleep until ten a.m. Then, it takes me at least an hour to get motivated and able to move.

3) Self acceptance – it’s okay to have limits. You aren’t perfect and neither is the Barbie standing beside you in the elevator. Do not become a recluse. You have a chronic condition not a death sentence. That is no way to live your life. Just limit your productiveness and your rest. It’s a balancing act. Be flexible. You can either let it challenge you to be more or let it define you. I always love a good challenge.

4) Strength. You never know how strong you are until strong is the only option. That is a cliche, but it’s cliche for a reason. It’s true. When your body protest any and all movement but your furbaby keeps whining to go out side and even comes to lick your cheek – you get your butt out of bed no matter how hard it is and let the damn dog out. If you are lucky, like me, she will gladly assist you in getting up from any position. My chow has taught herself how to be my therapy dog. However, I’m pretty sure it’s just a survival thing on her part. I love it regardless.

5) You will find out who your real friends are, who is fake,or ones that simply can’t handle what it entails to be your friend. Either way, it helps with the filtration system. Being chronically ill or in chronic pain really puts a damper on your social life and it is inevitable that you will cancel, probably multiple times, or have to reschedule for the fourth time this month. They will either wait patiently or come to you. I love my friends, you guys rock!

I am grateful for the challenges and the curve balls life has thrown me. There is never a dull moment. Keep your head up!!


It’s not what you deal with it, it is how you deal with it

As wise woman told me, “It’s not what you deal with, it’s how you deal with it.” That statement gave me a lot of food for thought. I’ve come to realize that everyone has things in their life that they deal with and no one can ever know exactly what you are going through; that at times you have to be your own best friend. You must stick up for yourself, for your body, mind, and spirit. You have to do what is best for you and you alone.

If you don’t take care of yourself then who will take care of you? You have to treasure your body. It is immensely important for you to respect your morals and stand by your values. . At times life will let you down and fail you; you can’t take it out on anyone. You just have to deal with it and move on. Above all else you must accept it. Even though all of that is easier said than done,it is possible. I realized the most important and sometimes the hardest yet simplest thing that we can do is love our self.

That a lot of things in my life are changing and the unknown is getting closer and closer. I’ve come to evaluate recently what kind of person I want to be and what kind of person that I am — Do I like the person I am? I’m okay with it. Is there things I want to change? Yes, there are a lot of changes that I want to make in my life. I’m probably one of the most indecisive people you will ever come across.

 It is because I want to do so many things and I’m just trying to figure out which of these goals has to come first. I’m sure a lot of twenty somethings have this issue. I’m here to say that it is OKAY to not know what you want to do with your life. It’s okay to take that semester off and discover yourself. Be free, be alive, enjoy life!

Take every chance you can get to embrace life and discover more about yourself and the world around you. Don’t be afraid to take a chance. Just take it day by day and live every second for what it is worth.

Life with an allergy dog

I was blessed to become the dog mother of a cream chow chow. I named Rhea and bought her cute pink bows! What I didn’t know,just like any other maternal figure, was that I was in for a surprise when I found out my baby has severe allergies. It started when she was only a few months old. The itching, sneezing, coughing, and constant hot spots were huge red flags. After she turned a year old it just continued to get worse and by a year and half we spent more time at the vet than we did at home. Finally, we got her allergy tested and started immunotherapy. My beautiful fluff ball was allergic to almost everything. No, I’m not exaggerating;even though, I wish I was just a bit! I do have a flare for being dramatic. Rhea is allergic to most trees, grass, grains (including wheat and corn), all eat except chicken, beef, and fish; mold, dust mites, cats, human dander, and everything in between. I have to vacuum frequently and monitor everything that she could even possibly remotely ingest. It was a lot of work to allergy proof the house and stay on top of her therapy schedule. We started out doing two shots every four days, after three months we are up to two shots once a week. Here are a few lessons I learned:

1) If you don’t know something, ask. If you don’t understand ask again. My vet knows the sound of my voice on the phone. Yes, I’m being serious.

2) It is easy to overcome your fear of needles when something you love unconditionally depends on it. Cowgirl up!

3) If you aren’t sure what is in it just assume that it is full of allergens and that it will cause a bad reaction. This includes soaps, home cleaning sprays, and anything edible.

4) Immunotherapy is not a cure all. I naively thought that if I spent XXX amount of money on all the immunotherapy stuff that she would be normal and free from the effects of her allergies. WRONG! It will lessen the severity though and allow her to live a more normal life.

5) I should have taken out that pet insurance that I threw in the trash.

After everything is said and done I’ve heard a lot of people tell me that they would have placed her On another home or dumped her at a shelter. I cannot imagine my life without Rhea in it. She is the most gentle, compassionate companion I could have ever imagined and more. She has trained herself to be my therapy dog. Rhea loves bunnies, kittens, chicks, ducklings, and all things small and cute. She is a ray of sunshine (pun intended) to my darkest days!

If you are experiencing the life with an allergy dog feel free to hit me up for advice or to share some advice!!

Own it

This is to the girl who is hiding her inner most feelings. This is to the girl silently crying herself to sleep tonight. This is for the guy who’s tired of all the pointless drama. This is to whomever is not being true to themselves. I have this policy. I just say whatever rolls off my tongue. I don’t conceal my feelings and I communicate my emotions. I don’t know if anyone has ever told you lately but EVERYTHING you feel is valid. Every single emotion that crosses your mind is apart of who you are and should not be taken lightly. You are a person worth taking seriously and expressing yourself is healthy. Don’t ever allow someone to steal your light. It happens so often, people get themselves into a situation that dampens their mood. They get caught up in the social norms and forget that no one is perfect. Your flaws and imperfections are what make you unique. They make you interesting.
I want to just go sit at the park and observe random people and see what sparks their fire. Shine as bright as you can because you never know who’s life you are going to touch or make an impact on – you could save a life without even knowing it. Be passionate. Be a live and forget your worries. You only get one life and as cliche as that it, it’s true. Make the most of every single moment. You should always hold your head up high and be confident. Show the world how strong you are and own your life. You should always own your quirky little habits, your addiction to Starbucks(maybe that’s just me?), and your petty little drama with all your pals that you’ve had since college. Every single thing that happens to you is significant and you can control your own future. You should dictate your own life and not let someone have control of the wheel. Every emotion, feeling, desire, want, need – everything is valid. It is real. You are worthy of it all. You deserve happiness. You deserve success. You deserve someone willing to go the extra mile for you.
Self acceptance is a beautiful thing. If you can’t accept yourself and all your idiosyncrasies how can you expect someone else to be willing to accept them when you are struggling yourself. The first person you should learn to accept is you. If you accept yourself there is absolutely nothing that can stand in the way of your happiness. It is pivotal to your happiness that you are committed to your own happiness take charge and be yourself. Be the crazy dog person, the book worm, the flamboyant loquacious party goer, or the nice compassionate one that loves life. Be whoever and whatever you want to be in life, just own it. I hope that this reminded you that whoever you are and where ever you are in life – is exactly where you need to be at the time. If the situation is blocking your light, change it. Take control and be unapologetic about being yourself.